Couples and Marriage Counseling
Couples often seem to want to prove a point in an argument rather than understand the other person's feelings. Changing your style of communicating can lead to a more satisfying relationship.
Is the sexual and affectionate part of your relationship missing? Would you like to recapture those times when you and your partner experienced loving, sexual moments? Have you told your partner that?
Would you like to learn to communicate and have acceptance and understanding as an outcome rather than ongoing arguments?
Perhaps you find yourself giving more than you receive and repeatedly find a partner who does not meet your needs. Do you feel repeatedly stuck in bad relationships and have no idea how this happens?
Affairs: It is not uncommon for one partner to have an affair at their spouse. Resentments build and instead of directly communicating dissatisfactions, the person leaves a trail of evidence (emails, hotel bills, text messages) pointing to the affair. Direct communication can replace destructive behavior but that needs to be learned.
Relationships at work: Do you let opportunities or promotions pass you by because you feel too unsure of yourself to ask for a raise or promotion? Are you assertive at work but timid or intimidated when it comes to talking with your spouse?
Self-help books, can they help? They do help identify problems as common to being human and through reading people feel less alone and self-critical. However, since there is "counter will" alongside intention, reading alone will not address the problem.
Call me and give yourself and your partner a chance to learn to build positive communication skills. If you are concerned about how conflicts in your relationship are affecting your children, come in for a consultation. I have even worked with parents and their infants where the infant and parent(s) benefited. An once of prevention is certainly worth avoiding misery down the road.
If your partner does not want to come for a consultation, come in by yourself. This increases the chance of your partner coming.
Dr. Sehl has been helping people for over 20 years through individual, marriage and couple counseling. I have helped couples and single men and women resolve their conflicts about relationships.