Being Okay with Being Alone

Interpersonal conflict and the capacity to be alone and be close-

Mental health could be thought of as the degree to which one can develop both the capacity to be alone and be close to another person in the face of conflict.

The capacity to be alone in the face of conflict is different than the familiar feeling that people often identify when they say - "I am often alone. I enjoy being alone". The ability to be alone in the face of conflict involves the capacity to tolerate the absence of a loved one even though that person may be angry or disappointed with you (or you with them). 

Being close involves the ability to risk being vulnerable with someone you love. Being close and vulnerable means running the risk of criticism and rejection from the one you love. The capacity to be alone in the face of interpersonal conflict means than you have enough self worth to withstand the feelings of abandonment, rejection, loss of a loved one, without being devastated by those experiences. 

Dr. Sehl would be interested in hearing about therapists' and patients' experience around these issues. Contact him today!